All I Gotta Do Is Stay Black and Die

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 9

Day 9, baybeeeeeeeee! Whew! I’m sitting here at my girl’s place in Houston, drinking a green smoothie I made with the last of my groceries I bought for my stay.

For over a week, I managed to turn TF up for my girl’s twenty-fine (as I claim to have coined it for our friend group), spend one-on-one time with a couple of folks, watch some TED talks, still get some good music listening time in, and get this 30-day writing challenge off to a good start. As I said yesterday, in Day 8’s blog post intro, it may seem simple, but it is NOT! I promise.

Tomorrow morning, I get on the road to head to my next destination, and after the productivity I’ve maintained in Houston, I’m feeling pretty confident it’ll continue.

I wonder what today has in store for me. Please, let it be a writing prompt that I can complete within the intended 30-minute time limit. Or, should I ask myself to please complete the piece within 30 minutes no matter the writing prompt? Yeah, it’s on me, not the random WordPress graphic listing 30 writing prompts.

[goes to camera roll] [sets timer]

Writing Prompt 9: Post some words of wisdom that speak to you.

A slight grin comes across my face.

Being raised in the church, by a once too-hot-to-trot grandmother, Bible verses or old adages of church folks immediately come to my mind.

What God has for me is for me.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

All in due time, baby. You just keep the faith.

These encouraging statements, in a time where I’m giving so much of my mental space to building a blog into a brand into a business, likely come to me because I need them.

I need to believe that a higher power has placed these gifts within me to be used and that I will eventually see the fruits of my labor. I need to believe that the fight to get to the first page of Google will turn out in my favor. I need to believe that blog success is in my future, and millions of eyes will one day see my words, as long as I keep believing.

Though it is hopeful, I need to believe none of this at all. And that, that is comforting.

The meaning of life is just to be alive.
It is so plain and so obvious and so simple.
And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.

- Alan Watts, writer

I can write simply because that is how I live.

Putting my words on a public forum doesn’t add the requirement that I have to reach some sort of “success” with my writing. I don’t have to get X amount of website pageviews by Y date. I don’t have to gain an email subscriber list longer than all the ancient scribes of Egypt. Even when my blog does become monetized, I don’t have to generate this many dollars in ad revenue, nor that many dollars by affiliate links.

Yes, I want success. It’s a dream to be able to pay my rent in Los Angeles via blog income while sitting on an island in the Caribbean on vacation. When I’m giving the girls my secrets on how I grow healthy hair or trim belly fat, sure, it would be nice to get the stuff I’m already paying for for free or to get paid to put others on it. I’d feel like I’m actually putting my broadcast journalism degree to use if a company invited me to their event to do a write-up on it or cover their carpet. These are opportunities I want to do, not that I have to do.

Requirements only exist when I’ve given them to myself.

All I gotta do is stay Black and die.

It’s one of those quirky #thingsBlackpeoplesay, but it’s true. All I must do is live in this body and die in it. Now, if you take that the wrong way, and go off the deep end, it can be depressing (to think life has no purpose). However, if you look at it from another perspective, it’s pressure-lifting.

I don’t have to do a got darn thing but live. There’s no rush. There’s no pressure.

Recently coming across that Alan Watts quote, about the meaning of life being to be alive, it spoke to me deeply as I’m swiftly on my way out of my beloved twenties and into a panic attack about not being where I “should” be by now.

Mm mn, I rebuke that.

I’m living. That’s all I have to do.

My living looks like writing.

Writing is how my brain processes life, always has been.. way back to childhood when I’d pull the closet door closed, sit atop my shoes and below my clothes, putting myself in a timeout no one ordered, scribbling in the darkness.

If it weren’t here on this personal website, it would be somewhere else. The Spirit led me to bring it here. Maybe one day my words will be the script of a box office hit, or a bestselling book. I don’t know and I’m not forcing it.

Right now, I’m just writing.. just living… and that’s all I have to do.

Hey, hey, hey now. Just because I said I’m not forcing it, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to share it. I’m not going to force you either. What I will do is ask nicely. Please, share these words of wisdom about the meaning of life by sending this link to someone that you know. If that’s too personal, share it on one of your public profiles.

I appreciate you, riders. Thank you for being here.